LOST CITY OF Z (2017)

TAGLINE: IN 1925, PERCY FAWCETT VENTURED INTO THE AMAZON IN SEARCH OF A MYTH. WHAT HE DISCOVERED BECAME LEGENDARY.

Well, I obviously paid no attention to any form of advertisement that I saw about this cinematic adventure. I’m honestly not sure what I was expecting, but, a “based on a true story” lifetime journey in the woods during the early 1900’s was far from it.

Were the imagery, costumes, and all of that usual stuff wonderful and elaborate? Sure, absolutely. Did I enjoy the actual overall movie? No, not so much. It just seemed to drudge on and on and on! I actually fell asleep twice and it still felt as lifelong as the search for the city depicted in the movie. It struggled to hold my attention and half the time (probably because of my two mini-naps) I didn’t know what was really going on and when aside from them literally traipsing through the jungle. At one point I’m pretty sure I even said will he either find this place or die trying already? Rude, I know. It wasn’t the absolute worst movie that I have ever watched. I can at least give it that much of a break, but, it was far from the best. To me it felt like it was a combination of Jumanji and any televised National Geographic documentary ever done.

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47 METERS DOWN (2017)

TAGLINE: NO HELP ABOVE, NO HOPE BELOW.

Let me preface this entire post by saying that I kind of have a fear of the ocean. I definitely have a major phobia when it comes to humpback whales but I have a good bit of fear in terms of the ocean. I can sense the usual judgment! It’s just too vast for my taste. There’s too much going on down there that can’t be seen and I do not dig it. I will go to the beach and step in about shin deep, but, never will I ever go scuba diving. Not happening.

Having said that, if you can relate, this movie will freak you out. I literally had chills when that cage started to drop. ALL THE CHILLS. You go into this movie thinking that it’s a typical movie where vacationers try to roll with the locals and things go awry. Well, it is, but magnified by a hundred. It is absolutely terrifying just for the fact that it’s something that could happen in real life. I literally have chills just thinking about it all over again.

As per usual there were some “ponder points” of commentary:
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prequels, sequels, and remakes… oh my!

First of all, I completely realize that I have been slacking when it comes to these updates. I could come up with a million excuses but we all know that excuses are like belly buttons aka everybody’s got some kind of version of one; ergo, I won’t bother. It’s not like I haven’t watched any cinematic adventures during the time of my impromptu hiatus, because I absolutely have. A day without watching a movie is like a day without eating breakfast… it’s possible, but, it’s the most important meal of the day!

Second of all, this post isn’t technically going to be a post about a specific movie. Rather, a post about a subject that I feel very strongly about when it comes to movies in general. Prequels, sequels, and remakes or reboots… whatever word you want to use for them.

THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! Why are they literally EVERYWHERE?! It’s insane!

I have no problem accepting the fact that every generation is going to have their take on certain classics such as the superhero genre. We’ve had Adam West, Michael Keaton (aka the best Batman of all,) George Clooney, the tragic Val Kilmer rendition, Christian Bale, and now Ben Affleck… totally understandable to keep Batman going. The same can be said for Superman, Spiderman, etc. There have been awesome versions and there have been versions that I think we can all agree should never be spoken of again (cough Val Kilmer cough).

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THEY LOOK LIKE PEOPLE (2015)

TAGLINE: LOVE, LOYALTY, AND LIVING NIGHTMARES.

This one had been on my Netflix queue for quite some time. I ended up bumping it up on my watch list because one of my friends (hey, @adgwatches, heyyy!) gave it a pretty great review.

Now, it’s not to say that I dislike this movie, I just didn’t end up being that big of a fan of it. If that makes sense. It was like I went to a restaurant, ordered a delicious blt, and ended up getting a delicious reuben. While it is indeed scrumptious, it just wasn’t what I had a taste for/what I wanted. I mean the reuben is good and it still gets consumed… it’s just slightly disappointing.

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AVA’S POSSESSIONS (2015)

TAGLINE: SHE CAN HANDLE HER SPIRITS.

I originally stumbled (or rather, scrolled) upon this movie via Netflix about a month or two ago and just kept putting it on the back burner each time. Finally, I have given it the time of day and I have to say that, if I had set any kind of expectations, it would have surpassed them.

As someone who thoroughly enjoys thrillers, horror movies, movies about paranormal activity, and things like that, I’ve seen a ton of the same ole same. Going into this one, I didn’t really know what to expect because you rarely ever see a movie about AFTER the exorcism. AFTER the lead character has been spiritually rescued. Especially one that is supposed to be seen more as a comedy. I don’t know how or why I put this movie off for as long as I did, but, that’s neither here nor there at this point.

Sidenote: Yes I do totally believe in possession, spiritual presences, etc. Absolutely. That doesn’t change the fact that I found this movie extremely funny.

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CRIMINAL (2016)

TAGLINE: THE MISSION IS IN THE MEMORIES.

This is one of those movies that had great previews and I was really looking forward to watching. When you’ve got a cast including Kevin Costner, Ryan Reynolds, Tommy Lee Jones, and Gary Oldman… that’s a recipe for awesome right there. I need to confess that I just forgot Gary Oldman’s name was Gary Oldman. I kept calling him “Commissioner Gordon” and “Fifth Element guy” until I IMDb searched this.

Anyway, I enjoy that the movie gets right into the action from the start but the cab that “Billy Pope” gets into is the slowest cab that I have ever seen. And I have been in a cab stuck in traffic in New York so that is saying something. You can’t get away from anyone at 2.5 mph! Whats-her-face, aka “the bad chick” as I called her, had ample time to read off that license plate. Also, it made me wonder if there are height requirements to being a CIA operative. You’re on a mission, running from bad guys and trying to be evasive? I would think that’s more difficult to achieve if you’re over six feet tall and towering over everyone around you. That’s not a “Clark Kent” situation where you can just put on some non-prescription glasses and keep it moving. It’s like looking for the Jolly Green Giant when he’s hiding out with the Lollipop Guild.

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HOW TO BE SINGLE (2016)

TAGLINE: WELCOME TO THE PARTY

A fitting tagline for the christening post of this cinematic sanctuary. Let me preface this by saying that it’s about time there were a movie about a female who enjoyed being single and wasn’t a basket-case, mistress, murderer, or miserable while searching for a happily ever after. Well, “Alice” is looking for a happily ever after, but, a happily ever after with herself.

Of course most of it is at least somewhat predictable, but, that’s inevitable in this kind of thing. We all know you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince or, in this case, find out that you don’t even need a prince at this juncture in life just because others seem to. It’s 2016, the damsel in distress to independent women ratio should have changed greatly by now.

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