prequels, sequels, and remakes… oh my!

First of all, I completely realize that I have been slacking when it comes to these updates. I could come up with a million excuses but we all know that excuses are like belly buttons aka everybody’s got some kind of version of one; ergo, I won’t bother. It’s not like I haven’t watched any cinematic adventures during the time of my impromptu hiatus, because I absolutely have. A day without watching a movie is like a day without eating breakfast… it’s possible, but, it’s the most important meal of the day!

Second of all, this post isn’t technically going to be a post about a specific movie. Rather, a post about a subject that I feel very strongly about when it comes to movies in general. Prequels, sequels, and remakes or reboots… whatever word you want to use for them.

THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! Why are they literally EVERYWHERE?! It’s insane!

I have no problem accepting the fact that every generation is going to have their take on certain classics such as the superhero genre. We’ve had Adam West, Michael Keaton (aka the best Batman of all,) George Clooney, the tragic Val Kilmer rendition, Christian Bale, and now Ben Affleck… totally understandable to keep Batman going. The same can be said for Superman, Spiderman, etc. There have been awesome versions and there have been versions that I think we can all agree should never be spoken of again (cough Val Kilmer cough).

What I don’t understand and can’t get behind are the ones that should never be touched. The ones that are classics that should never be “reimagined,” drawn out to have a sequel 20 years later, or whatever it is they call it. Which ones am I referring to? Footloose, Scarface, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Nightmare on Elm Street, Independence Day, IT, and if there is one more version of Step Up or Bring It On… I might just scream. There are so so many more. I mean, does there need to be another Indiana Jones? I was under the impression that, if anything, Shia’s character would take the reigns and Harrison would retire. That sequel was more than enough to lay the saga to rest! Do we need another Alien movie? No! I thought Ripley aka Sigourney Weaver’s character died long ago in those movies and the aliens were all killed off. I don’t want to live in a world where an Alien movie exists without Sig Weave. Apparently neither of those factors matter as we’ve all seen by the “resurgence” of alien beings brought to us in the newest Independence Day installment sans Will Smith which, I will admit, wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I, for one, thought there wasn’t anything to “resurge” but oh well, I guess.

There are just some things that need to be left alone completely; some movies that don’t need new versions/visions, adaptations, etc. To this day I haven’t seen the Footloose remake and I most likely never will. I watched about two minutes of the opening credit sequence and that was it. For years, I’ve read about a supposed remake of Dirty Dancing which happens to be my all time favorite movie. IMPOSSIBLE. You can’t have any kind of Dirty Dancing without orig Johnny Castle and Francis “Baby” Houseman. Everyone knows that nobody puts Baby in the corner, but, you can surely put that remake there and leave it for all of time right along with all of the other crap like I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer and Honey 3.

Why is it so hard to grasp that just because one thing is a hit does not guarantee that version two, edition three, or installment eight will be? Come on! At this point, I’m waiting for Free Willy to come out of the woodwork, Good Burger II, a remake of The Fly, or something super ridiculous like Leprechaun vs Freddy: They’re Coming For You and Your Shamrocks Too or some such malarkey!

And don’t even get me started on this whole nonsense of making the most random movies into television shows. We all know that is something that has been happening since tv came along; radio shows into shows/movies, movies into shows, and shows into movies, but, there has got to be some kind of standard as to where the line is drawn. Uncle Buck? Rush Hour? Lethal Weapon? What the what? Why would those sound like good ideas for even a split second? Get it together, entertainment! Get. It. Together. PLEASE!

There have got to be movie and television ideas that are fresh and awesome. I refuse to believe that literally everything good has been done already. I get that people sample and get ideas from things already done in every capacity of the entertainment industry, but, there’s a difference from getting ideas/coming up with fresh ideas and then just plain copying and redoing.

Also, even though the Luke Bracey version of Point Break was pretty good, I say there should be a rule that anything Patrick Swayze was in cannot be touched. From The Outsiders to Dirty Dancing to Road House to To Wong Foo; no dice, Grandma. End of story.

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