ANNABELLE: CREATION (2017)

TAGLINE: YOU DON’T KNOW THE REAL STORY

GREAT ZEUS’ TRIDENT. I haven’t been that wide-eyed and startled that many times since the whole Paranormal Activity saga was in full swing. I fully expected to be disappointed by watching 1.5 hours of a doll mysteriously moving around in an old house like the previous installment. Thankfully, that was far from the case. That’s something I know I haven’t said many times when it comes to any sort of sequel.

Really the morals of this portion of the story could be summed up in two points:

  1. Teach your kids to look both ways! Even back in the 40’s, or whenever the first “developmental part” of the movie takes place, cars still had some horse power. Clearly not smart to run out into the dirt road for a lug nut. Come on now!
  2. Don’t go exploring things and/or places you have no business being around and/or in! Tale as old as time.

With that said, nothing is creepier than child ghosts. I don’t know why, but, there is just something about a little kid ghost dressed in their Sunday best haunting up a place that just intensifies the fear factor of the situation. The only thing creepier? Incorporating a demon of course. Maybe it’s because I fully believe in all of that spirits and possession stuff or because there was a Easter Sunday dressed child ghost involved… either way it’s an equation for a wonderful dosage of fright. (Side note: why do religion and spiritual stuff make things even more creepy? I think it’s because there’s so much that we really don’t and can’t possibly know. You’ll never see me fiddling around with a Ouija board trying to get any answers either.)

The only thing I had any qualms about was the guardian nurse. That lady was the worst of the worst. Poor little Janice goes to her to confess and get advice/help and this wench just cuts her off and completely misses the point! Not to mention the fact that she is the most hard of hearing woman ever. Also, at one point she’s brushing her teeth with nothing. No toothpaste and probably just a splash of H2O on the toothbrush! What is that achieving? Definitely not preventing tooth decay, lady. I hate when people do that in movies, commercials, and things. It’s like when they show those face wash commercials and all the people do is splash water on their perfectly complected face. It’s so annoying. Those kids basically could have been on their own and gotten the same results. No better, no worse.

Other PPCs aka Ponder Points of Commentary:

  • Nobody leaving little crayola notes at 0 dark o’clock is your friend.
  • What child runs to their bed to get away from something but doesn’t cover their head with the blankets?! I know I did as a kid. It didn’t do any good unless the covers were over the head. Complete and full coverage.
  • What’s also not going to help? Getting on the handicap in-home “staircoaster” that’s what. That thing clearly didn’t move fast enough to save anybody from anything! I don’t care how scared someone gets, they should know that a less than 2.5mph pace aka going down one flight of stairs like a snail moving through molasses on a cold January afternoon is not going to get them away from anything especially a demonic spirit!
  • Why was Janice always fully dressed? It was like 2am and she was dressed with shoes on like she was going out to frolic in the field.
  • Half way through the situation here came Mr. Mullins talking about “that doll can’t get out”….really dude? Too late for fear-ridden sage advice, gramps. That should have been brought up as soon as everyone moved on in!
  • Why and how did no one hear anyone screaming, being thrown around, and/or dying… EVER. No one ever heard any of that, but, sure did somehow hear Mrs. Mullins ringing her little brass bell every single time!

At the end of it all? Holy balls! Definitely a good scare and a nice sly connection to the original installment.

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