Category Archives: action

ANNABELLE: CREATION (2017)

TAGLINE: YOU DON’T KNOW THE REAL STORY

GREAT ZEUS’ TRIDENT. I haven’t been that wide-eyed and startled that many times since the whole Paranormal Activity saga was in full swing. I fully expected to be disappointed by watching 1.5 hours of a doll mysteriously moving around in an old house like the previous installment. Thankfully, that was far from the case. That’s something I know I haven’t said many times when it comes to any sort of sequel.

Really the morals of this portion of the story could be summed up in two points:

  1. Teach your kids to look both ways! Even back in the 40’s, or whenever the first “developmental part” of the movie takes place, cars still had some horse power. Clearly not smart to run out into the dirt road for a lug nut. Come on now!
  2. Don’t go exploring things and/or places you have no business being around and/or in! Tale as old as time.

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IT COMES AT NIGHT (2017)

TAGLINE: FEAR TURNS MEN INTO MONSTERS

Didn’t hate it, but, also didn’t love it. Right from the start I was extremely intrigued to see what the deal was with Gramps dying in a room covered in plastic tarps, skin covered in sores, and the whole burning of the body thing. They sure did burn the body pretty close to the house, the grave was quite shallow, and there was a lot of flammable foliage and such around but whatever I guess. Right from the start I figured it was some kind of World War Z meets Outbreak meets Cabin Fever so I was pretty well invested.

That didn’t last long before the boredom set in. Not because of the acting, which was fantastic, but the story itself.

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LOST CITY OF Z (2017)

TAGLINE: IN 1925, PERCY FAWCETT VENTURED INTO THE AMAZON IN SEARCH OF A MYTH. WHAT HE DISCOVERED BECAME LEGENDARY.

Well, I obviously paid no attention to any form of advertisement that I saw about this cinematic adventure. I’m honestly not sure what I was expecting, but, a “based on a true story” lifetime journey in the woods during the early 1900’s was far from it.

Were the imagery, costumes, and all of that usual stuff wonderful and elaborate? Sure, absolutely. Did I enjoy the actual overall movie? No, not so much. It just seemed to drudge on and on and on! I actually fell asleep twice and it still felt as lifelong as the search for the city depicted in the movie. It struggled to hold my attention and half the time (probably because of my two mini-naps) I didn’t know what was really going on and when aside from them literally traipsing through the jungle. At one point I’m pretty sure I even said will he either find this place or die trying already? Rude, I know. It wasn’t the absolute worst movie that I have ever watched. I can at least give it that much of a break, but, it was far from the best. To me it felt like it was a combination of Jumanji and any televised National Geographic documentary ever done.

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47 METERS DOWN (2017)

TAGLINE: NO HELP ABOVE, NO HOPE BELOW.

Let me preface this entire post by saying that I kind of have a fear of the ocean. I definitely have a major phobia when it comes to humpback whales but I have a good bit of fear in terms of the ocean. I can sense the usual judgment! It’s just too vast for my taste. There’s too much going on down there that can’t be seen and I do not dig it. I will go to the beach and step in about shin deep, but, never will I ever go scuba diving. Not happening.

Having said that, if you can relate, this movie will freak you out. I literally had chills when that cage started to drop. ALL THE CHILLS. You go into this movie thinking that it’s a typical movie where vacationers try to roll with the locals and things go awry. Well, it is, but magnified by a hundred. It is absolutely terrifying just for the fact that it’s something that could happen in real life. I literally have chills just thinking about it all over again.

As per usual there were some “ponder points” of commentary:
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prequels, sequels, and remakes… oh my!

First of all, I completely realize that I have been slacking when it comes to these updates. I could come up with a million excuses but we all know that excuses are like belly buttons aka everybody’s got some kind of version of one; ergo, I won’t bother. It’s not like I haven’t watched any cinematic adventures during the time of my impromptu hiatus, because I absolutely have. A day without watching a movie is like a day without eating breakfast… it’s possible, but, it’s the most important meal of the day!

Second of all, this post isn’t technically going to be a post about a specific movie. Rather, a post about a subject that I feel very strongly about when it comes to movies in general. Prequels, sequels, and remakes or reboots… whatever word you want to use for them.

THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! Why are they literally EVERYWHERE?! It’s insane!

I have no problem accepting the fact that every generation is going to have their take on certain classics such as the superhero genre. We’ve had Adam West, Michael Keaton (aka the best Batman of all,) George Clooney, the tragic Val Kilmer rendition, Christian Bale, and now Ben Affleck… totally understandable to keep Batman going. The same can be said for Superman, Spiderman, etc. There have been awesome versions and there have been versions that I think we can all agree should never be spoken of again (cough Val Kilmer cough).

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CRIMINAL (2016)

TAGLINE: THE MISSION IS IN THE MEMORIES.

This is one of those movies that had great previews and I was really looking forward to watching. When you’ve got a cast including Kevin Costner, Ryan Reynolds, Tommy Lee Jones, and Gary Oldman… that’s a recipe for awesome right there. I need to confess that I just forgot Gary Oldman’s name was Gary Oldman. I kept calling him “Commissioner Gordon” and “Fifth Element guy” until I IMDb searched this.

Anyway, I enjoy that the movie gets right into the action from the start but the cab that “Billy Pope” gets into is the slowest cab that I have ever seen. And I have been in a cab stuck in traffic in New York so that is saying something. You can’t get away from anyone at 2.5 mph! Whats-her-face, aka “the bad chick” as I called her, had ample time to read off that license plate. Also, it made me wonder if there are height requirements to being a CIA operative. You’re on a mission, running from bad guys and trying to be evasive? I would think that’s more difficult to achieve if you’re over six feet tall and towering over everyone around you. That’s not a “Clark Kent” situation where you can just put on some non-prescription glasses and keep it moving. It’s like looking for the Jolly Green Giant when he’s hiding out with the Lollipop Guild.

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